Let’s face the facts. At one point or another, we’ve all had a crush on someone at work. Whether it’s big butt Brenda or 6’4 Chad, who’s rumored to have a paid-off house and a 740 Credit Score. Chances are you’ve developed feelings or had a fling with someone in your professional life.
There’s a saying that one of my bosses once told me. Daniel, “You never stick your pen in company ink,” which was his way of saying you never flirt, date, or have sex with anyone who works at the same company. The reason for this? Office affairs rarely have a good ending. Work wifes/husbands are a common occurrence. Most companies will fill their offices with the best looking and most charismatic people they can find. There’s a 99.9% chance that somewhere in the building you work, you’re going to find another person you’re attracted to.
That person might be working with you in your department or somewhere else in the office/building. You run into them at work or see them from a distance, and they immediately stand out to you. Soon after that, you start thinking of them – keeping all your thoughts to yourself, or maybe you share your new crush with your favorite co-worker.
Eventually, you run into them by chance or force an encounter to introduce yourself.
One thing leads to another, and you start developing a relationship with them. You might begin by meeting up for lunch, and from there, it progresses to dating or sex.
You might not notice it because you’re so engulfed with your new infatuation, but everyone in the office sees exactly what’s going on between you and your new “friend.” You both start taking your lunch at the same time, someone in the office catches you two hanging out outside of work, or any other deviation from your normal behavior that stands out to your co-workers.
Since work is mundane for most people, it’s thrilling for them to have something new to gossip about and break the monotony of everyday life. People start spreading rumors around the office that the two of you are having sex, since that’s the first assumption people make when they see a guy and girl hanging out together. They end up dramatizing the situation out of excitement or envy.
You can never be sure how others in the office are interpreting the relationship between you and your crush. Your best office buddy might be genuinely happy for you, but another co-worker who hasn’t been asked out on a date in years might see you happy and scorch with anger inside. Maybe your boss secretly had a crush on the person you’re with, and now their main goal is finding a way to get you fired – because they’re jealous.
The workplace is a social environment that’s filled with gossip, so you would be naive to think you can keep your affair a secret. The minute there’s even a hint of something going on, the chatter will begin.
Everything might start off fine and dandy between you and your lover, but at some point, something inevitably will go wrong, and the affair will end. One person falls out of love. Someone had a spouse and kids they were hiding. One party was under the impression you were heading towards a relationship, while the other just wanted sex. What once seemed so promising has now come to an end, and emotions are everywhere. Suddenly, the person you were happy to see every day becomes public enemy number one.
When relationships end, most of the time, one person leaves bitter. However, when a relationship ends, you usually stop seeing each other, or, in the worst case, much less frequently. For the most part, you no longer have to deal with them.
It’s different when you have an affair with someone at work, though. That person you’re no longer involved with works at the same place as you, and you have no choice but to see them every day. Since you’re hurt, you begin avoiding them, and it becomes difficult for you to work with them if you’re both in the same department. It becomes very awkward – very fast.
Make no mistake, while all this is happening, everyone at work is enjoying the free entertainment you’ve provided them. If you’re a guy, you may get props for nailing a hot chick at work, but due to the double standard in society, if you’re a female, you’ll be known as the girl who gets around the office. The higher-ups also now know both of you can’t be trusted with positions of power since you couldn’t control your sexual urges.
I’m sure there’s plenty of success stories about people who met their spouse at work, but they’re few and far between. More often than not, it will go from a moment of excitement to hurt and embarrassment.
I’ve learned it’s a good idea to look at your attractive co-workers the same way you would animals at the zoo, and only look at them and not touch. Enjoy their unique attributes, humor, and presence, but understand that, at the end of the day, the only reason you’re at work is to complete the duties assigned to you by your employer.
If there’s someone at work you have feelings for, the best thing to do would be to wait until one of you isn’t working there before making a move. If you make your intentions known before that, you’re opening Pandora’s Box. If your advance is wanted, your fling probably won’t last long and will end in disaster. If your advance is unwanted, it could be seen as sexual harassment. Either way, nothing good is likely to come from it.
Do yourself a favor and leave the romance out of the office. The only affair you should be having is with the work you need to complete during business hours. Don’t stop by big boobie Susie’s desk when you’re supposed to be finishing up that report, and there’s no reason you should be hanging out with good looking Greg when you should be calling back that client to close the deal.
Stay focused and get back to work.
“Working with persons of the opposite sex may bring mutual distrust and dislike; there is no great peril in that. But working together may bring respect, mutual confidence, and comradeship. So far, so good. Such friendships may be holy and beautiful on a brother-sister basis. But a certain reserve and distance must be preserved at all costs, and will be by men and women of disciplined character. Friendship can become affection, affection love, love lust, and the progress be shock to both. That which was begun innocently may end disastrously.”
Quote from Richard S. Taylor’s book The Disciplined Life: The Mark of Christian Maturity.
One night, when I was a teenager, I got into a huge fight with my Aunt. My Dad overheard us arguing and joined our dispute. I said something smart to him and walked to my room. He followed me in, threw me against my bed, and started hitting me multiple times. I was pretty much defenseless and got my ass whooped. I definitely deserved it, though, the way I was acting.
After my Dad got off me, I walked across the house towards the kitchen. My Aunt was following me and begging me to calm down. I entered the kitchen, went to the drawer where the silverware was, and started pulling it out irrationally, thinking I would grab a knife & stab my Dad.
As I pulled the drawer out, the logical part of my brain kicked in, and I realized that would be ridiculous, so I threw the drawer on the ground, leaving silverware all over the floor. I quickly walked to the bathroom and locked the door. At that point, I needed to get away from everyone and cool down. I sat with my back against the bathroom door, and dramatic thoughts started going through my head. I was thinking about running away, feeling like no one loved me, and other angry teenage thoughts.
I stayed in there for what seemed like hours. Eventually, my family knocked on the door, asking when I would come out. I refused to open the door, so they made me an offer. I could go stay with my Mom for the night, or if I didn’t want to do that, my Mom would pick me up and take me to the hospital. I wasn’t too sure what going to the hospital meant. It was a vague statement. All I knew was I didn’t want to stay at home or stay with my Mom, which wasn’t an appealing alternative.
Ultimately, I agreed to have my Mom pick me up and take me to Kaiser Permanente Hospital.
When we got to the hospital, I was put in a room by myself while my Mom met with the nursing staff. Eventually, I sat down with my Mom, who told me I would be going to a Mental Institution to get evaluated. I started to wonder if I should’ve just humbled myself and apologized to my family or agreed to stay with my Mom. I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into, and now my situation was starting to get real.
My Mom informed me that an ambulance was coming to pick me up. At this point, it was late at night, and I just wanted to go to sleep. The ambulance finally arrived after what seemed like forever, and they escorted me outside, where two young men greeted me. They put me on a stretcher like someone who was severely injured and then locked me in place so I couldn’t move; it was very uncomfortable.
While driving, I asked the guys if they were taking me to a hospital in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by tumbleweeds. They laughed and said the mental institution was nothing like the ones you see on TV & Movies, and it was just a place where troubled kids could get help. They told me not to worry and assured me everything would be okay.
We arrived at the institution before sunrise. They released me from the stretcher and escorted me to the building. Once inside, another guy came to take care of me, and we said our goodbyes. The person in charge of the graveyard shift at the institution had me fill out some paperwork. I don’t remember what any of the forms said, except one that stated I wouldn’t be able to buy a firearm for a couple of years after turning 18.
After I finished, he took me to my room, and I went straight to sleep. The next day, I woke up to a doctor requesting that I sit up so he could draw some blood. When he finished, my roommate walked over and introduced himself. We were both around the same age and spoke about the events that had brought us to this mysterious place. After our brief meeting, we left the room, and he gave me a tour of the facility.
We hung out all morning and then went to the cafeteria for breakfast. After we ate, we went to a group counseling session with the girls who stayed in a nearby building. We started by going around in a circle and introducing ourselves. The counselor then went over self-improvement tactics, and after the session ended, we returned to our respective units.
At nighttime, the staff gave us little white cups with two pills in them and told us to take them after dinner. After we ate, we took our pills and went to the lobby to relax and watch TV. As time passed, everyone began to fall asleep. The pills they gave us were some sort of sleeping medication like Benadryl. Eventually, I felt the medicine kicking in and drowsily got up and headed to my bed, where I quickly knocked out.
I woke up the next day feeling surprised that I was enjoying my stay thus far. It wasn’t anywhere as bad as I thought it would be. The people there were cool, and the adults who watched us were entertaining. One surprising thing, though, was the two little boys in our section, who were around 4 or 5 years old.
One of them was a young boy who was there because of family issues. He was well-behaved and didn’t have a distinct personality.
The other kid was a boy named Raymond. Raymond stood out immediately because he dressed like a gangster and wore baggy clothes. If he didn’t get his way or someone did something he didn’t like, he cussed everyone out & banged his head against the wall. It was a disturbing sight to see (especially for a kid).
I learned from the nurses that his parents got into a big argument at home, and his Mom pulled out a gun and killed his Dad – right in front of Raymond. He was sent to the institution temporarily while they found him a new home. It’s a sad story, and even though he always gave the adult supervisors a fit, we formed a bond, and he felt like my little brother.
My days continued to pass at the institution, but I had no timetable for my release. For all I knew, it could be days or weeks before they released me. I decided to make the best of a bad situation and behave until it was time to go. It did get boring at times, though, because we followed the same tedious routine every day. It was fun at first, but now I wanted to go home.
My roommate must have felt the same way because he devised an escape plan for us to break out of the facility. I laughed at his idea and reminded him we were leaving soon, which would be pointless. On top of that, even if we did escape, the staff would call the police immediately, and helicopters would be all over the sky looking for us. We agreed to kill our escape fantasy and finish our time there in peace.
My roommate was a funny character, and we got along great, which made my stay easier. Ironically, he also went to the school across the street from my house – Small World.
Thankfully, I didn’t end up staying too long and left in about a week.
On my last day, I said bye to everyone and gave Raymond a special hug. Seeing a little kid like him in such a dire situation made me sad. Imagine being a child and witnessing your Mom murder your Dad. That’s something that will traumatize him for the rest of his life. It’s been over a decade since this happened, and I still wonder how he’s doing sometimes.
Hopefully he’s okay.
Before I left, I went to the gym to play Basketball with my friends. When we arrived at the courts, it was crowded and filled with people I’d never seen before. As I was walking around, a girl approached me and started making small talk; out of nowhere, she asked me how old I was and if I was a virgin. I told her my age and said that I had never had sex before. She then told me she wanted to take my virginity. It threw me off guard & I told her I was about to leave but appreciated the offer.
She then told me her Dad took her virginity and raped her when she was younger. I started to feel creeped out and didn’t want to talk to her anymore.
I returned to my room, packed my bags, and thought about everything that had transpired during my stay. Overall, it wasn’t the worst experience, but towards the end, I really wanted to leave. As more people came and went, I started to feel like the facility was filling up with strange characters, and I was no longer comfortable staying there. I felt relieved when the doctor signed my release and gave my family the okay to pick me up.
When my parents arrived, they surprised me by bringing my Grandma to lift my spirits. I was happy to see her and head back home. My trip to the Nut House was complete, and I was ready to get back to my regular life.
Have you ever been lying in bed, dreading getting up and driving to a job you hate? I know I have, and today, I’m going to share my experience with three different jobs that had me feeling miserable.
Job #1 – Nightmare Catalogs
I was hired as a customer service representative for a catalog company. My job was to take orders and process refunds. The company I worked for sold everything from slippers to glow in the dark snowflakes you could put on your windows during Christmas time. The products we sold had stunning pictures in the catalog, but were made cheaply overseas. Therefore, customers were disgruntled when they opened their package and saw a product that looked nothing like the one in the advertisement. It seemed like as soon as they got their item, they called our phone line and demanded a full refund.
What made this job different from your average customer service job, though, was that most of the company’s clientele were senior citizens. That meant most people I spoke with were hard of hearing. It was rare for me to make it through a call without having to repeat myself multiple times. The most common words I heard all day were “What?” “Say that again, please,” and “I didn’t hear you.” Now I’ve spent my entire life taking care of my Grandparents, so I’m used to speaking loud. However, communicating over the phone proved to be a challenge, and I constantly had to raise my voice. After working there for a while, I even started talking loudly outside of work.
I would be having a conversation with a friend, and they would say, “Daniel, why are you yelling?” I would lower my voice and then explain I spoke loud because the clients I worked with had hearing problems. Regardless, I began making a conscious effort to speak at a normal volume when I wasn’t at work.
Despite the communication barrier, working with elderly people could be highly entertaining. Most of our customers had a great sense of humor about the crappy products we sold. One customer informed me that he received his glow in the dark snowflakes but wanted to know why they didn’t glow in the dark. Another client proclaimed that the slippers he got in the mail were “made of plastic.” My supervisor showed me the slippers he ordered, and I almost died of laughter when I saw how poorly they were made. In the catalog, they looked like something you’d find in Nordstrom, but the actual product looked more like something you’d find at the 99 Cent Store.
After working for a catalog company, I’d never order from one. I’m not sure why you’d even want to these days since you can order pretty much anything from Amazon faster and cheaper. I think catalog companies target older people because they tend to be more susceptible to attractive pictures and bold product claims. If your parents or grandparents decide to order from a catalog company, be sure to research the company thoroughly before placing an order. When I eventually checked out the reviews for my company, I unsurprisingly found that they were all terrible. People could’ve saved their time & money by doing a quick Google search, and I could’ve saved myself a year-long headache.
Job #2 – Cable Company
My second worst job was being an Inbound Sales Representative for a major cable company. My position entailed selling Cable, Internet, and Home Phone Services to people who called in.
Before I started selling, though, I had to complete three weeks of group training. Our class taught us about the company’s various services, and our instructors taught us how to use the computer software. The services were easy to understand, but the CRM was complex. It was ridiculously hard to use, and most of my class struggled to learn it. Thankfully, when it was time to take the final, we all passed and were transferred to the main call center.
The trainers then informed us we’d be answering live calls under supervision for the next few weeks. If we showed competence at the end of that period, we’d be given an official seat on the sales floor. Everyone was initially nervous and needed help every other second, but ultimately, we all made it to the next phase. By then, though, I realized this job would be way more difficult than I had anticipated, and I’ll tell you why.
When I applied for the sales position, I knew selling Internet service would be easy, but I hadn’t considered that the world was moving away from Cable and Home phone service. So I was in for a rude awakening when I began answering calls, and most people started the conversation by saying, “Hi Daniel, I’m calling in today to get Internet service only and no Cable or Home phone.” I could sell customers the Internet service by itself, but I was graded on my ability to sell bundled packages and not standalone services. Additionally, every call was being monitored to ensure that I was pitching all three products to customers.
I always did my best on the phone, but selling Cable and Home Phone service was tough. On top of that, the company didn’t make things easy on us with their clunky systems. I’ll give you a complete breakdown of all the challenges I faced on the job.
Challenge #1 – Selling Cable Service
When people started trying streaming services like Netflix & Hulu, they realized they could watch their favorite shows on demand for less money. There was no need for a technician to drill holes in their wall and deal with an expensive cable bill. When I spoke to customers, and they brought up the benefits of streaming, it was hard to rebuttal them because, deep down, I knew they were right. They were getting a superior product that was cheaper and more convenient.
I noticed that my success in selling cable usually depended on the customer’s age. If I answered the phone and the client sounded young, they usually had no interest in Cable. More likely than not, they were tech-savvy and knew all about streaming. On the contrary, if I spoke to an Adult who’d been using Cable their whole life, my chances of selling it significantly increased. They were familiar with the service and not ready to try streaming… at least not yet.
Challenge #2 – Selling Home PhoneService
I felt like a huge clown whenever I spoke with a customer and brought up home phone service. It was hard for me to sell a product I knew most people had no interest in. Before I could even finish saying “Home Phone,” customers would interrupt me and tell me they weren’t interested. You would think I insulted their mother the way they responded.
The only thing that helped me sell the Home Phone service was a promotion my company offered, which allowed customers to bundle it with internet service and receive a discount. Their wireless router had a port at the back if customers wanted to plug in a landline. Most people I spoke to didn’t have a Home Phone but wanted the discount, so they agreed. When clients requested Home Phone service, it was usually for their parents, not themselves.
Challenge #3 – Phone Que
When I started answering calls, I was under the impression I would only be speaking with new customers – boy, was I wrong. Most calls I took were from existing clients who wanted to speak with Customer Service or Technical Support. The worst part? Before transferring them, I had to scan their account for missing services and try to upsell them.
This led to frequent arguments with clients who just wanted to be transferred and didn’t want to discuss adding Home Phone service when their cable box wasn’t working. It was very awkward, and if I didn’t convince them to add additional service, it counted against me on the sales report.
Challenge #4 – The CRM
The company’s computer software was terrible. Even for the most straightforward order, you had to go through multiple screens and enter a ridiculous amount of codes – it felt like you were trying to solve a Calculus equation. It was also plagued by bugs that forced you to restart your computer mid-call or sit there unsure of which codes to use, while customers waited impatiently on hold. I was embarrassed when one time I was setting up service for a customer, and he told me, “I had no idea getting internet took this long.”
It was so broken it felt criminal the company was making us use it.
Before I took this job, I was unaware that Cable companies were hated by consumers, but after working for one, I understand why. The long wait times, misleading advertising, and frequent price hikes make service providers infuriating to deal with. As a result, every day was draining because most people I spoke with were mad.
I felt like a firefighter trying to put out all these fires as customers brought up a barrage of complaints. Not to mention, all the while, I had to sell them services that were on their way to becoming extinct.
There’s no way to beat around the bush, this job sucked.
Job #3 – Telemarketing
My worst job ever was working as an appointment setter for a home improvement company.
I ended up working as a telemarketer because I quit my job one day and needed to quickly find another gig. I saw an advertisement on Craigslist for a local Sales position and called to set up an interview. When I went in to speak with the sales manager, we had a great conversation, and he hired me on the spot. I arrived at work on the first day and walked into the main room, where there were about 40-50 people. There was clearly no dress code, and the office was mixed with both young and old people. The room was filled with rows of computers, and everyone was talking on the phone. My manager was assisting someone, so I had to wait a few minutes. Once he was done, he escorted me to my desk at the back of the room.
I sat down, and my manager grabbed a co-worker to train me. My colleague came over and explained that my job was to book appointments for people interested in home improvements or repairs. He gave me a script to read on the phone and showed me how to use the computer’s dialing system. Everything seemed easy enough, and I confidently told my trainer I was ready to get on the phone.
I began dialing, and as soon as someone came on the line, I started my introduction.
Me: Hi, this is…
Client: Click
Before I even got to my name, the person had hung up on me. The dialer quickly connected me to someone else, and my next call ended the same way. As soon as the person realized I was a telemarketer and not a family member or friend, they immediately ended the call. I spent the remainder of the day trying to book appointments, but I had no success. I went home that day feeling beat up and brain dead from all the rejection.
I arrived early the next day and grabbed some coffee before returning to the battlefield. I observed a few top performers in the room and noticed they all had an abundance of charisma on the phone. One guy sounded like he was a licensed contractor, and one girl was damn near yelling at people and demanding they book a free estimate. I don’t know how she did it, but she was booking appointments all day. I wasn’t about to take her yelling approach, but I knew I needed to adjust my pitch.
I started reading my script more passionately and researched home improvement outside of work, so I was more knowledgeable on the phone. I learned over time that as long as I kept my energy high throughout the day, I would speak to at least a few people interested in booking an appointment. I never knew when that person would show up, so I did my best to answer every call enthusiastically. Even the ones that came in towards the end of the day, when I was worn out after answering hundreds of calls.
It wasn’t easy spending most of the day getting hung up on, but since I had a lot of cool co-workers, it was bearable. Our office was like a circus, and it was filled with all sorts of characters. There was no background check or drug test at this company, and as long as you could talk, you were eligible for hire. We had musicians, actors, drug addicts, and even felons. Fights would break out in the office, and people frequently got caught using drugs in the bathroom.
You never knew what to expect when you came into work.
The most fascinating part of this job was dealing with the main manager, who was a guy we’ll call Fred. Fred was a bulky guy who wore black sunglasses and the same outfit every day. He was an odd but funny guy, and his sales meetings were unlike anything I’d experienced before. We would meet in the center of the room, and the normal lights would get turned off, and a disco light would come on. Then our supervisor beat on a drum while everyone stomped their feet and banged their hands against the wall. After hearing the commotion, he’d come out of his office and make the type of entrance you’d expect from a Roman emperor or celebrity.
During the meeting, Fred went over the company’s recent sales. If the estimates we set up were converted into a signed contract, he’d announce our name and the cost of the client’s project. Us agents always crossed our fingers and hoped he would announce our name and a large dollar amount. From what I recall, my biggest deal was around $200,000. I felt like a king when he announced my sale that day, and the room erupted with applause. I walked to the center of the room and hit the gong as everyone slapped my hand and congratulated me.
We had a ton of fun at these meetings, and they were the best part of our day.
Compensation-wise, we got paid close to minimum wage, but they were supposed to give us a “bonus” for the deals we helped close. If the customers’ project cost under $10,000, they gave us $10; if it was over $100,000, they gave us $100. It was a pretty pathetic commission plan, and collecting our bonus was challenging because of the lengthy sales process and shady management team. You didn’t get paid until the project was complete, which could take months, and there was no way to track the status of your deal. You had to trust the management to be honest about paying your commission, which my Co-Worker Oscar explained was a bad idea.
He told me that one time, he went to management to check on one of his commission payments. They informed him that one of his clients backed out of the deal, and he wouldn’t be getting his bonus. He had a hunch they were lying, so he called his client to verify the story. It turned out they hadn’t canceled the deal and had recently finished construction at their house. After he found out, he made a big scene and got paid, but he never trusted them again.
I had my own struggles collecting commissions during my tenure, but eventually, I stopped fighting with management over it. Every time I tried to discuss my bonus with my manager, he became angry and pointed out the days I hadn’t met my sales quota. Then he reminded me they could fire me, but since they liked me, they let it slide. I had to accept defeat and come to terms with the fact that I could only count on them for my hourly pay and not a penny more.
I started to not like working there, and my relationship with the manager began to deteriorate. Once I became a top producer, he’d always promise me a promotion, but never followed through with his words. One day, I even overheard him talking about all the employees, and he was basically calling us losers behind closed doors. It hurt to hear him say that, and I began to see things for what they really were. They didn’t care about us, and this was just a boiler room designed for him and his friends to make as much money as possible.
To further Illustrate how much they valued us, I’ll share a story.
One day, the company had us get off the phones for a brief meeting. The management team then told us they appreciated our hard work and wanted to throw a company picnic. The plan was to work a half-day on Friday and then head to a local park to play games and eat. It sounded great and caught us off guard since we all thought the company didn’t care about us. We left the meeting pleasantly surprised and couldn’t wait for the event.
On the day of the picnic, we clocked out early and made our way to the park. Everyone was in good spirits and ready to enjoy the nice summer day. We hung out, ate food, and enjoyed each other’s company. At the end of the day, everyone headed home happy and ready to enjoy the weekend. However, we had no idea that a huge plot twist was about to unfold. The following Friday, our supervisor was passing out paychecks, and I overheard people complaining that their checks were short. When I got my check, I looked at it and noticed I hadn’t been paid for a few hours. It seemed like the hours I was missing were equal to the length of our picnic.
The whole room started to demand answers as to why our checks weren’t their normal amounts. Our supervisor then came to the center of the room as a riot began to ensue. He looked nervous and explained that the company clocked everyone out when we left for the picnic and stopped paying us for the day. All the money the company saved by clocking us out early was used to pay for the picnic. It was outrageous to hear because the managers made it seem like they were throwing the picnic out of the goodness of their hearts. It turned out they deviously paid for the picnic with our own money.
People in the room started yelling things like “I have rent due” or “I needed that money for my kids.” One of my coworkers even said that if he had known his check was getting cut short, he would’ve rather worked the whole day. I was about to speak up, but I looked around and saw so many people yelling that I realized my voice wouldn’t have even made a difference. My superior apologized to the room and admitted he should’ve told us we wouldn’t be paid after we clocked out early. People began to demand their money, and some of my colleagues even became hostile. It was an ugly scene, and everybody left work furious.
The next day, Fred was there at the start of our shift, which was odd because he usually arrived in the afternoon. He then informed us that everyone would get paid for the hours shorted on our check. Our supervisor then gave him a list of people who were rioting the day before, and they were sent home and suspended from work. We were happy to get paid our missing money, but the whole incident left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.
After this situation, I reached my apex of unhappiness and began looking for another job.
I had fun working there for the first few months, but over time, it got tiresome. Speaking to hundreds of people a day and mostly getting hung up on was draining. On top of that, our office was gloomy and filled with outdated computers, dirty carpets, and old desks. I had a lot of great co-workers to help ease the pain, but I felt like for every quality person they brought in, they hired three weirdos. I even found out that one of the guys sitting near me had been convicted of touching a minor, which was disturbing. It was apparent that this company targeted the dregs of society. People who were likely never going to be successful or achieve anything in life.
I knew that wasn’t me, and it was time to go.
It took me a couple of months, but I finally found another job and got to leave this dreadful place. I found out years later from a co-worker that the building we worked in was burned down in a fire. I can’t say I was surprised to hear that because, towards the end of my tenure, I felt like every morning I was walking straight into hell.
It’s 5 AM, and my alarms going off. I pop out of bed and head to the kitchen, where I gobble down a granola bar and drink a glass of water. Now that I’m hydrated and have food in my system, I can start driving to my appointment. It’s time for my first of two weekly Plasma Donations.
My friends the one who put me onto this. He called me one day and told me about this place that pays you to donate your blood. Apparently, this corporation uses your Plasma to make medicine and pays you a small fee for your donation. He said it was easy to get approved and mentioned he makes $100-$200 a week donating. Since I was dead broke and jobless, I went to take my physical and get started. It seemed like a good side hustle till I got back on my feet.
The donation center is about 15 minutes from my house, so it’s a short drive. Plus, I go early in the morning when there’s no traffic on the road. As much as I don’t like to admit it, I go early, hoping I don’t run into anyone I know. I also put on my prescription glasses, which I don’t usually wear, to look inconspicuous. Being seen donating Plasma does not exude success.
When I arrive at the facility, I walk to a terminal and fill out a brief questionnaire. Every time I come to donate, I have to do this. The company wants to ensure I’m still healthy, haven’t got any STDS, and am fully aware of the risks that come with donating Plasma. I answer all the questions honestly, but it’s hard to imagine people admitting something that will prevent them from making their donation. They test your blood every time, so they’d find out anyway, but it’s kinda obvious how you need to answer to move to the next step.
After I finish my questions, I take a seat in the lobby & wait to be called up front. A few minutes pass, and a lady yells “Daniel” across the room. I walk up to the counter, where a nurse greets me and starts my Pre-Screening tests (There are two of them, and I have to pass both to donate.)
The first thing the nurse does is get a reading of my Protein levels. I stick out my finger, and she pokes me with a device that gives me a small cut. Then, she gives my finger a light squeeze and fills a tube with my blood. After that, she drops it into a machine that analyzes it.
While she waits for my results, she checks my Blood Pressure. I always dread this test because my blood pressure occasionally comes back high. If it’s not in an acceptable range, they make you wait 15 minutes and retake the test. If it’s still high, they send you home and make you return another day. It ends up being a huge waste of time & you leave without the money you desperately needed.
I do my best to stay calm while the nurse places the cuff around my arm. She tells me to “Relax & Breath in” and starts the test. The cuff loosens up in less than a minute, and she tells me to head to the back. I passed both tests and can begin my donation – Thank God.
I stroll over to the donation floor, which is filled with rows of chairs. Before getting seated, I glance at everyone in the midst of their donation. I see a bunch of minorities who look homeless or close to it. There’s a mix of young & old people in the room. To my surprise, almost as many women are donating as men. It’s a sad sight, but poverty doesn’t discriminate against genders.
A nurse walks up to me and asks what arm I’d like to use for my donation. I always choose my left arm because the vein on my right arm is too small to extract blood from. One time, they tried to use it, and the process took way longer than usual and left a gigantic bruise on my arm. It was a nightmare experience, and I never used my right arm again after that.
I sit down, and the nurse applies some disinfectant to my vein. While rubbing it in, she gives me a big smile & asks how I’m doing. I respond, “Fine,” even though I’m so broke that I’m donating my blood for some chump change. It’s ironic that the employees are over-the-top cheery when what’s happening is so dark.
After cleaning my vein, the nurse pulls the lid off a sterile needle and sticks me. Most of the time, my blood flows into the plasma machine right away. Every now and then, though, nothing comes out, and they have to wiggle the needle around until they find a solid connection to my vein. Some staff members can never stick me in the right location, so I always request proven nurses if they’re available.
Once I’m up and running, the waiting game begins. I make a squeezing gesture with my hand to help my blood flow faster and speed up the process. You start at 0% and have to wait until the machine reaches 100%. If you disconnect early for any reason, you won’t receive the full payment amount. While I’m waiting for my donation to finish, I watch YouTube Videos or listen to Music. The process is painless and requires no real effort on my end.
When the machine hits 100%, the final stage of the donation begins. The device returns your red blood cells to you and keeps your Plasma in a separate bag. This part of the donation makes you feel chilly, but it’s over quickly. The nurse then took the needle out of my vein, wrapped a bandage around my arm, and sent me on my way. Even though I know my donation will help save someone’s life, a piece of my dignity has been lost.
I just pimped myself out and gave this billion-dollar corporation a pint of my blood for a $40 gift card.
In addition to the shame I feel, the donation leaves a bruise on my vein. It kinda looks like I was using heroin. I used to be a drug addict, so I hate going around with this suspicious-looking mark on my arm. Especially since I always brag about being clean. Nobody’s ever questioned me about it, but it does make me self-conscious. Having a needle mark on your vein is never a good look.
The Donation Center can only use your plasma if you make two donations in the same week, so I’ll need to return in a few days. They give you more money for your second donation, but in reality, they’re paying you pennies for your blood and selling it for a hefty profit. It’s not anywhere close to a fair trade.
When you’re a beggar, you can’t be a chooser, so for right now I have to accept what they give me. I gotta get out of this position soon, though. I don’t want to be doing this forever. Some people here look like they’ve been doing this for years and will probably donate their Plasma until they die. This place reeks of poverty & exploitation, and once I’m back working…
Excerpt from “The Manipulated Man” by Esther Vilar
breaking them in
“To ensure that the happiness of man in subjugation is brought about by a woman and not by other men or some sort of animal, or even by one of the above-mentioned- social systems, a series of training exercises are built into man’s life, beginning at a very early age. It is fortunate for woman that the male infant is under her close jurisdiction as it is easiest to train him then. And by the natural process of selection, the very women who are best suited to training men are the ones who reproduce themselves; the others are incapable of reproducing themselves anyways.
The mere fact that a man is accustomed from his earliest years to have women around, to find their presence ‘normal,’ their absence ‘abnormal,’ tends to make him dependent on women in later life. But this dependency would not be serious, for a life without women would in that case mean nothing more than a change of scenery, just as someone born in the mountains might go and live in the plains: although he might long nostalgically for his mountain home, he is unlikely to go back. Other things become more important in his life.
It would hardly be in the best interests of women if they only inspired in men a vague romantic nostalgia, felt only on Sundays or when away from home, having no direct consequences. She takes care that man is directly trained for a particular purpose: he must work and put the fruits of his labor at her disposal. Woman has had this aim in view throughout the upbringing of her child and she engenders in him a series of conditioned reflexes which cause him to produce everything to satisfy her material needs. She does this by manipulating him from his first year of life. Consequently, by the time his education is complete, man will judge his own value by woman’s estimation of his usefulness. He will be happy only when he has won her praise and produced something of value to her.
One might well say that woman becomes a kind of value scale. At any given moment, a man can refer back to it and judge the value or futility of his actions. If he spends any time on something which has no value in terms of this chart, football, for example, he will do his best to compensate quickly for this minus point by increasing his activity on the plus side of the scale – which explains why women do not object too strongly to football or other types of spectator sports.
One of the most useful factors in the conditioning of a man is praise. Its effect is better and much more lasting than say, sex, as it may be continued throughout a man’s life. Furthermore, if praise is applied in the correct dosage, a woman will never need to scold. Any man who is accustomed to a conditional dosage of praise will interpret its absence as displeasure.
Training by means of praise has the following advantages: it makes the object of praise dependent (for praise to be worth something, it has to come from a higher source, thus the object of praise lifts the praise-giver to a superior level); it creates an addict (without praise, he soon no longer knows whether or not he is worth something and forgets the ability to identify with himself); it increases his productivity (praise is most effectively meted out not for the same achievements, but for increasingly higher ones).
The moment a male child has been rewarded by a warm smile and by the customary inane kind of encouraging adult baby talk for using his pot and not wetting his bed, or for drinking the last drop in his bottle, he is caught up in a vicious circle. He will repeat the actions which called forth praise and endearments and, if at any time recognition is not granted, he will do everything in his power to regain it. The happiness he feels when praise is restored will already have assumed the proportions of an addiction.
During the first two years of life, a mother does not discriminate between boys and girls. The female infant is submitted to the same form of manipulation until the principles of hygiene are absorbed, but from that moment on, the education of the two sexes follows very different paths. The older the girl grows, the more highly conditioned she becomes in the art of exploiting others, while a boy is increasingly manipulated into becoming an object of exploitation.
Toys play an important part in this early manipulation. The mother will first stimulate the playfulness of her children, and then she will exploit it. The girl child will be given dolls with all the necessary paraphernalia – prams, dolls’ beds, and miniature tea-sets. The boy will be given everything a girl never has – Meccano sets, electric trains, miniature race cars, and airplanes. Thus the girl is conditioned right from the start to identify with her mother, to fit herself into the role of woman. Dolls are praised or scolded as mother praises and scolds. It is child’s play to her to absorb the principles of leadership; a girl’s education, like a boy’s, is based on praise, meted out to her, however, only when she identifies with the female role, so that she will never want to be anything but ‘feminine.’ The standard set of values will inevitably be woman’s forever, since only women can judge how good their own role is (men are taught that woman’s role is inferior; hence there is no cause to praise women).
A male child is constantly praised for everything, except for playing with miniature humans. He builds model dams, bridges, and canals, takes toy cars apart to see how they work, shoots toy pistols, and practices on a small scale all the things he will need later in life when he is providing for a woman. By the time he reaches school age, the average boy is already well versed in the basic principles of mechanics, biology, and electrical engineering, all learned from personal experience. He can build wooden huts and defend them in make-believe wars. The more initiative he shows, the more he is praised. Woman wants him to develop to the point where he knows more than she does. His knowledge must be superior to hers in everything concerning work, for woman cannot survive without man.
For woman, man is really a kind of machine, if rather an unusual one. Her ideal, if she could define it, would be a robot capable of thought, of programming itself, of continuing to develop and produce an ideal set of functions to meet each new situation. (Scientists, too, are working on the development of such robots, who will work for them, make decisions for them, think for them, and put the results of their labor at their disposal; but these robots will be constructed from non-living matter.)
Long before man is in a position to choose his own way of life, he will have formed the necessary addiction to praise. He will be happy only when his work brings him praise and, because he is an addict, his need will increase – and with it the type of achievement so much praised by his woman. This male need could, of course, be satisfied by another man, but as each man is working feverishly in the interest of his own addiction, he has no time to help others. Indeed man exists, as it were, in a state of constant antagonistic competition with other men. It is one of the reasons why he loses no time in getting his own private panegyrist, one whose praise will be his exclusive right, someone who will always be at home waiting to tell him when he has been good and just how good he has been. It is apparently only by chance that woman is best suited to this role: but in fact, she has been preparing all her life for it, waiting to assume it.
It is rare for a man, a successful artist or scientist for instance, to be able to conquer his addiction to the extent that he is satisfied by another man’s praise. If he does, it is really only women he has managed to escape – never the craving itself. Once a particular field of work has brought a man success and financial security, it is rare for him to test his abilities in another sphere, attempting to satisfy his curiosity. His supply of praise may be dangerously reduced. Like Miro with his dots-and-lines technique, Johann Strauss with his waltzes, and Tennessee Williams with his plays about psychotic women, he will stick firmly to his successful technique. The risk of attempting to be the measure of his own success is too great for him to take.
One is even tempted to think that there can be nothing very positive about an artist’s personal style. Take a man like Samuel Beckett. For twenty years he has produced a series of Godot replicas – and surely not for pleasure. After all, he is an intelligent man. He avoids risk the way an alcoholic avoids a cure. Yet if only he could free himself from his conditioned behavior, he would probably do something quite different. Perhaps he might design planes – the reliable construction of his plays hints at a scientific talent – or grow rare plants. He might even, perhaps, just once, write a comedy. Surely so much success is bound to drive away the depths of despair. It might even turn out to be a success with the public. But no, the risk is too great for a carefully manipulated man. Better go on writing plays about the absurdity of the vital instinct – then, at least, he can be certain of praise.”
Chapter VIII – Concerning those who have obtained a principality by Wickedness.
“Although a prince may rise from a private station in two ways, neither of which can be entirely attributed to fortune or genius, yet it is manifest to me that I must not be silent on them, although one could be more copiously treated when I discuss republics. These methods are when, either by some wicked or nefarious ways, one ascends to the prinicpality, or when by the favour of his fellow citizens a private person becomes the prince of his country. And speaking of the first method, it will be illustrated by two examples – one ancient, the other modern – and without entering further into the subject, I consider these two examples will suffice those who may be compelled to follow them.
Agathocles, The Sicilian
Agathocles, the Sicilian, became King of Syracuse not only from a private but from a low and abject position. This man, the son of a potter, through all the changes in his fortunes always led an infamous life. Nevertheless, he accompanied his infamies with so much ability of mind and body that, having devoted himself to the military profession, he rose through its ranks to be Praetor of Syracuse. Being established in that position, and having deliberately resolved to make himself prince and to seize by violence, without obligation to others, that which had been conceded to him by assent, he came to an understanding for this purpose with Amilcar, the Carthaginian, who, with his army, was fighting in Sicily.
One morning he assembled the people and the senate of Syracuse, as if he had to discuss with them things relating to the Republic, and at a given signal the soldiers killed all the senators and the richest of the people; these dead, he seized and held the princedom of that city without any civil commotion. And although he was twice routed by the Carthaginians, and ultimately besieged, yet not only was he able to defend his city, but leaving part of his men for its defence, with the others he attacked Africa, and in a short time raised the siege of Syracuse. The Carthaginians, reduced to extreme necessity, were compelled to come to terms with Agathocles, and, leaving Sicily to him, had to be content with the possession of Africa.
Therefore, he who considers the actions and the genius of this man will see nothing, or little, which can be attributed to fortune, inasmuch as he attained pre-eminence, as is shown above, not by the favour of any one, but step by step in the military profession, which steps were gained with a thousand troubles and perils, and were afterwards boldly held by him with many hazardous dangers. Yet it cannot be called talent to slay fellow-citizens, to deceive friends, to be without faith, without mercy, without religion; such methods may gain empire, but not glory.
Still, if the courage of Agathocles in entering into and extricating himself from dangers be considered, together with his greatness of mind in enduring and overcoming hardships, it cannot be seen why he should be esteemed less than the most notable captain. Nevertheless, his barbarous cruelty and inhumanity with infinite wickedness do not permit him to be celebrated among the most excellent men. What he achieved cannot be attributed either to fortune or genius.
Oliverotto da Fermo
In our times, during the rule of Alexander the Sixth, Oliverotto da Fermo, having been left an orphan many years before, was brought up by his maternal uncle, Giovanni Fogliani, and in the early days of his youth sent to fight under Pagolo Vitelli, that, being trained under his discipline, he might attain some high position in the military profession. After Pagolo died, he fought under his brother Vitellozzo, and in a very short time, being endowed with wit and a vigorous body and mind, he became the first man in his profession. But it appearing a paltry thing to serve under others, he resolved, with the aid of some citizens of Fermo, to whom the slavery of their country was dearer than its liberty, and with the help of the Vitelleschi, to seize Fermo.
So he wrote to Giovanni Fogliani that, having been away from home for many years, he wished to visit him and his city, and in some measure to look upon his patrimony; and although he had not laboured to acquire anything except honour, yet, in order that the citizens should see he had not spent his time in vain, he desired to come honourably, so would be accompanied by one hundred horsemen, his friends and retainers; and he entreated Giovanni to arrange that he should be received honourably by the Fermians, all of which would be not only to his honour, but also to that of Giovanni himself, who had brought him up.
Giovanni, therefore, did not fail in any attentions due to his nephew, and he caused him to be honourably received by the Fermians, and he lodged him in his own house, where, having passed some days, and having arranged what was necessary for his wicked designs, Oliverotto gave a solemn banquet to which he invited Giovanni Fogliani and the chiefs of Fermo. When the viands and all the other entertainments that are usual in such banquets were finished, Oliverotto artfully began certain grave discourses, speaking of the greatness of Pope Alexander and his son Cesare, and of their enterprises, to which discourse Giovanni and others answered; but he rose at once, saying that such matters ought to be discussed in a more private place, and he betook himself to a chamber, whither Giovanni and the rest of the citizens went in after him.
No sooner were they seated than soldiers issued from secret places and slaughtered Giovanni and the rest. After these murders Oliverotto, mounted on horseback, rode up and down the town and besieged the chief magistrate in the palace, so that in fear the people were forced to obey him, and to form a government, of which he made himself the prince. He killed all the malcontents who were able to injure him, and strengthened himself with new civil and military ordinances, in such a way that, in the year during which he held the principality, not only was he secure in the city of Fermo, but he had become formidable to all his neighbours. And his destruction would have been as difficult as that of Agathocles if he had not allowed himself to be overreached by Cesare Borgia, who took him with the Orsini and Vitelli at Sinigalia, as was stated above.
Thus one year after he had committed this parricide, he was strangled, together with Vitellozzo, whom he had made his leader in valour and wickedness.
Some may wonder how it can happen that Agathocles, and his like, after infinite treacheries and cruelties, should live for long secure in his country, and defend himself from external enemies, and never be conspired against by his own citizens; seeing that many others, by means of cruelty, have never been able even in peaceful times to hold the state, still less in the doubtful times of war. I believe that this follows from severities being badly or properly used. Those may be called properly used, if of evil it is possible to speak well, that are applied at one blow and are necessary to one’s security, and that are not persisted in afterwards unless they can be turned to the advantage of the subjects.
The badly employed are those which, notwithstanding they may be few in the commencement, multiply with time rather than decrease. Those who practise the first system are able, by aid of God or man, to mitigate in some degree their rule, as Agathocles did. It is impossible for those who follow the other to maintain themselves.
Hence it is to be remarked that, in seizing a state, the usurper ought to examine closely into all those injuries which it is necessary for him to inflict, and to do them all at one stroke so as not to have to repeat them daily; and thus by not unsettling men he will be able to reassure them, and win them to himself by benefits. He who does otherwise, either from timidity or evil advice, is always compelled to keep the knife in his hand; neither can he rely on his subjects, nor can they attach themselves to him, owing to their continued and repeated wrongs. For injuries ought to be done all at one time, so that, being tasted less, they offend less; benefits ought to be given little by little, so that the flavour of them may last longer.
And above all things, a prince ought to live amongst his people in such a way that no unexpected circumstances, whether of good or evil, shall make him change; because if the necessity for this comes in troubled times, you are too late for harsh measures; and mild ones will not help you, for they will be considered as forced from you, and no one will be under any obligation to you for them.”
Creepy film director who secretly records people for blackmail purposes
Owner of Safeguard Metals& Alliance Shield. Over $50 Million in fraud & 400+ victims
The Wizard
The most cunning Snake of all time is the serpent Eve spoke to in the Garden of Eden. The second most cunning Snake is Jeffrey Ikahn. His nickname’s “The Wizard” cause he sells Gold & Silver and makes investors money disappear. This piece of shit is one of the shadiest human beings to ever come into existence.
🚨 PSYCHOPATH ALERT – BEWARE 🚨
TheHottest Scam in America – Selling Overpriced Gold & Silver to Senior Citizens
Testimony
Law #19 of Robert Greene’s “The 48 Laws Of Power.”
“Know who you’re dealing with – Do not offend the wrong person.”
“You can never be sure who you are dealing with. A man who is of little importance and means today can be a person of power tomorrow. We forget a lot in our lives, but we rarely forget an insult.”
“The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.”
5. From December 2017 through at least July 2021, defendants Safeguard Metals LLC, a California-based company that sells precious metals coins to retail investors, and Jeffrey Ikahn, its owner, acted as investment advisers and persuaded investors to sell their existing securities, transfer the proceeds into self-directed Individual Retirement Accounts (“SDIRAs”), and invest the proceeds in gold and silver coins by making false and misleading statements about the safety and liquidity of the investors’ securities investments, Safeguard’s business, and its compensation.
6. Safeguard and Ikahn targeted investors who were at or near retirement age through Safeguard’s website, through online advertisements on sites like Facebook and Google, and through direct calls. Ikahn had authority over Safeguard’s website, which during much of the relevant time period, falsely claimed that the company had $11 billion in assets under management and an office in London. He also had authority over Safeguard’s LinkedIn page, which was connected to fake profiles of prominent individuals in the securities industry showing that they were associated with Safeguard.
7. Guided by scripts, some of which were prepared by Ikahn, Safeguard sales agents made false and misleading statements to investors about the purported risks associated with the investors’ existing securities holdings at investment banks and brokerage firms. For example, Safeguard’s sales agents stated that a “Money Market Reform Law” allowed banks and brokerage firms to freeze retirement accounts in the event of a market downturn; that top financial experts in the United States were saying that another recession was coming very soon; and that when that happened, the investors’ accounts would be frozen and they would not be able to get any money out of their 401(k) plans or Individual Retirement Accounts (“IRAs”). These statements were misleading because, among other things, the law that Safeguard referenced applied only to money market funds in rare circumstances and could not result in an individual’s entire account being frozen.
8. Safeguard and Ikahn also misled investors about Safeguard’s commissions and markups on the coins. Safeguard required investors to sign a “Precious Metals Shipping and Account Agreement” that was created by Ikahn, and available on Safeguard’s website. During the relevant period, the form stated that Safeguard’s “operating margin,” or mark up, was usually 4% to 23%, depending on the type of coin or metal purchased (and 5% to 33% starting around January 2021). In reality, Safeguard charged an average markup of approximately 64% on its sales of silver coins, which constituted over 97% of the total coins it sold investors.
9. Safeguard obtained approximately $67 million from the sale of coins to more than 450 mostly elderly, retail investors and kept approximately $25.5 million in markups on the price it paid to acquire the coins.
10. The SEC brings this lawsuit to protect the investing public and to hold defendants accountable for their misconduct.
DEFENDANTS
11. Safeguard Metals LLC is a Wyoming Limited Liability Company with an office located in Woodland Hills, California.
12. Jeffrey Ikahn, age 41, is a resident of Tarzana, California. He is the only member of Safeguard. He owns 100% of the company. Ikahn controls Safeguard and its operations, and has exclusive authority over its business decisions. Ikahn has used the pseudonym “Jeff Hill” while representing Safeguard to investors. Ikahn’s legal name was once Jeffrey Santulan. In July 2021, his name was legally changed from Jeffrey Santulan to Jeffrey Ikahn.
FACTS
13. Overview of Safeguard’s Fraud. From the company’s inception in late 2017 through at least July 2021 – which is referred to here as the “relevant period” – defendants engaged in a fraudulent scheme to induce investors to sell their existing securities and buy silver and gold coins from Safeguard.
14. Safeguard and Ikahn used high-pressure sales tactics and made materially false and misleading statements to investors who were at or near retirement age about the safety and liquidity of the investors’ current securities holdings, Safeguard’s business, and the markups Safeguard charged on the coins. The goal was to convince the investors to liquidate their securities holdings and transfer their retirement money into a SDIRA with one of Safeguard’s preferred custodians to purchase and hold the coins. Once the SDIRA was funded, Ikahn caused Safeguard to buy gold and silver coins from a precious metals wholesaler and sell them to the investors at substantial, undisclosed markups.
15. At the beginning of the scheme, Ikahn personally handled virtually all aspects of Safeguard’s business, including finding sales leads and contacting potential investors. Later, Ikahn hired a number of sales agents to contact potential investors for Safeguard. Ikahn drafted sales scripts for the sales agents to follow, provided training to certain sales agents, and established the commission rates to be paid to the sales agents. Ikahn continued to handle most other aspects of the business himself, including buying the coins from the wholesaler and setting the prices at which Safeguard sold the coins to investors.
16. Safeguard and Ikahn targeted investors who were 59 years and older. Many of the investors had limited investing experience in general, and virtually no experience investing in precious metals. Safeguard’s sales agents – often using pseudonyms – called potential investors, many who had clicked on Safeguard’s online ads about “retirement funds being at risk.”
17. Lies about Safeguard’s Business. Throughout the scheme, Safeguard, Ikahn, and the sales agents lied to investors about all aspects of Safeguard’s business –including its size, experience, services, employees, and sophistication – in order to induce them to sell their securities and invest in Safeguard’s coins. Ikahn knew or was reckless in not knowing that these statements were false and misleading.
18. Safeguard held itself out as a full-service investment firm. A sales script used by Safeguard’s sales agents falsely described Safeguard as “one of the largest wealth protection firms in North America.” The sales agents described the company to potential investors as a “full service firm.” Until sometime in 2020, Safeguard’s website falsely claimed that the company had $11 billion in assets under management, and that Safeguard maintained an office in London. Safeguard’s sales agents also boasted to investors about its offices in New York, New York and Beverly Hills, California.
19. None of that information was true. Safeguard’s sole line of business was selling precious metal coins. It only had one office – a small, leased space on the third floor of a modest office building in Woodland Hills, California.
20. Until sometime in 2020, Safeguard’s LinkedIn webpage connected to several fake profiles showing links between people in the securities industry and Safeguard. For example, one LinkedIn entry falsely identified the president of a large, international investment bank as Safeguard’s CFO. Another LinkedIn entry falsely identified the general counsel of a large, registered broker-dealer as Safeguard’s in-house attorney. In reality, neither of those individuals had any relationship with Safeguard.
21. Ikahn was responsible for the creation of Safeguard’s website and LinkedIn page and had authority over them.
22. Safeguard’s sales agents, in calls to potential investors, lied about their investment experience and qualifications. For example, in a script provided to safeguard’s sales agents, an “opener” sales agent was directed to introduce a “closer” sales agent to the potential investor as a “senior representative [who] has been helping retirees/conservatives protect their wealth for over 17 years now, including back in ’08. He actually specializes in 401k/IRAs and has far more expertise on your particular situation.” None of Safeguard’s employees had experience remotely fitting that description. Additionally, at least one Safeguard sales agent falsely represented to investors that he held a Financial Industry Regulatory Authority Series 7 securities license, even though he had never held any securities licenses.
23. Misleading Statements about the Safety and Liquidity of the Investors’Securities Holdings. Safeguard made false and misleading statements to investors about the safety and liquidity of the investors’ securities holdings, and employed scare tactics to induce the investors to sell their existing securities holdings. Ikahn knew or was reckless in not knowing about this conduct, and about the false and misleading statements made to potential investors.
24. Defendants supplied Safeguard’s sales agents with scripts to use during communications with investors, at least some of which were drafted by Ikahn. A primary theme of Safeguard’s sales agents’ communications with investors was that investments in securities through traditional brokerage accounts were very risky, and that investors should protect their assets by moving their funds into an SDIRA.
5. The Stock Market is Going to Crash. Safeguard sales agents told investors that the United States was headed for a recession that would result in significant losses in their existing securities holdings. One of Safeguard’s sales scripts directed the sales agents to say, among other things:
(a) “The top financial echelons and economists in the US are saying this coming recession is going to be worse than 2008.”
(b) “They’re saying the last recession is going to be a walk in the park compared to what’s coming.”
(c) “You’re just going to get wiped out completely, like most people did in ’08.”
(d) “Why do you still have your life savings invested in the most expensive stock market of all time, in the 11th year of the most inflated bull market in US history?”
(e) “You know what the definition of insanity is, right? It’s doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. That’s exactly what you’re doing in the stock market. You lost [amount] in the 2008 crash, and here you are about to lose it all again.”
26. Retirement Funds will be Frozen. Defendants and their agents also claimed that investors’ retirement money was at risk because Congress had recently passed a new, unpublicized law at the behest of “big banks” that gave the banks and brokerage firms the right to freeze retirement accounts in times of financial turmoil.
27) Ikahn led the charge on this front, sending an email to Safeguard’s sales agents, instructing them to forward an email to investors stating, among other things: “This applies to Fidelity along with all other major financial brokerages. They will freeze your accounts by instituting redemption gates to limit these funds vulnerability to heavy withdrawals, during a financial crisis, for their benefit . . . These are troubled times, financially and beyond . . . [t]he solution for many conservative investors . . . is a no-fee, no tax Self-Directed IRA . . . It puts you back in control because it cannot be leveraged, frozen or converted into a bond.” The email concluded by directing investors to Safeguard’s website, stating: “Our goal is to provide you with knowledgeable insight and help guide conservatives towards a successful and sound retirement. At our website, SafeguardMetals.com we help retirees and those preparing for retirement protect their retirement accounts.”
28. In addition, the Safeguard sales script instructed sales agents to say, among other things: (a) “One of the main concerns retirees have with their IRA/401ks is the passing of the Money Market Reform Act and whether or not they’re going to have access to their money at all!” (b) “You need to see the law that allows your brokerage to legally freeze your 401k/IRA and how you can protect it.”
(c) “So when … all the largest financial institutions in the US are saying you’re going to be frozen out of your retirement account, meaning you won’t have access to anyof your money in your 401k/IRA, that’s not concerning to you?”
(d) “So the top echelons of finance, Warren Buffet, Ray Dali, among others, are all predicting a liquidity freeze. Meaning when the next stock market correction happens, your account will be frozen and you won’t be able to get any money out of your 401k/IRA. Are you saying you’re smarter than the top echelons in finance?”
29. In fact, there was no law that allowed banks and brokerage firms to freeze investors’ retirement accounts. Nor were the “top echelons in finance” predicting that their accounts would be frozen. In reality, the law referenced by Safeguard and its sales agents applied only to money market fund investments, and it allowed liquidity fees and redemption gates to be implemented for money market investments temporarily under certain, rare circumstances.
30. Securities Investments are Not Insured. In calls and emails with potential investors, Safeguard told investors that their securities investments were not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. What they did not tell investors was that the precious metal coins it sold investors also were not insured by the FDIC. Nor did Safeguard tell them that, unlike the coins, many securities investments held at broker-dealers are insured by the Securities Investor Protection Corporation (“SIPC”). According to SIPC’s public website, sipc.org, “SIPC protects against the loss of cash and securities – such as stocks and bonds – held by a customer at a financially-troubled SIPC-member brokerage firm.” Safeguard’s coins were not insured by SIPC.
31. Precious Metals Provide Protection. After going through the list of purported risks associated with securities investments, Safeguard’s sales agents regularly told investors that owning precious metals acted as a hedge against the risks of owning securities. They recommended that investors place up to 20% of their assets in physical precious metals. However, contrary to these representations, Safeguard regularly invested 100% of the investors’ SDIRAs in gold and silver coins without regard to the investors’ other assets.
32. Lies about How Safeguard Was Paid. Safeguard and Ikahn misled investors about the markups charged by Safeguard.
33. Safeguard’s sales agents generally did not mention Safeguard’s markups to investors during their initial sales pitches. Instead, the sales agents told investors that Safeguard would cover the recommended SDIRA custodian’s account fees and any storage fees associated with holding the coins for the first year. Occasionally, investors asked Safeguard sales agents how Safeguard made its money. On at least several occasions, certain Safeguard sales agents falsely told potential investors on recorded calls that the only way Safeguard made money was by taking a 1% commission when customers sold their coins. In fact, as those sales agents knew, Safeguard paid sales agents a total commission of 8% to 10% (split between the opener and the closer) of the total amount charged to investors when the coins were purchased.
34. Safeguard’s website contained false information about the mark ups charged by Safeguard. Each investor who purchased coins from Safeguard received and signed a copy of Safeguard’s “Precious Metals Shipping and Account Agreement,” which was created by Ikahn and made available on Safeguard’s website during the relevant period. Until at least late 2020, this agreement stated that Safeguard’s operating margin, which it defined as the difference between Safeguard’s approximate acquiring cost of the coins and the price the investors paid, was usually between 4% and 23%, depending on the type of coin sold. Later, defendants changed the agreement to state that Safeguard’s “current” operating margin was usually 5% to 33%. Both statements were false.
35. In fact, Safeguard was compensated through substantial markups on the price of the silver coins, which constituted over 97% of the total coins it sold investors during the relevant period. Safeguard charged an average markup of approximately 64% on its sales of silver coins during the relevant period – with markups ranging from approximately 30% to over 100%. The markups on silver coins averaged 71% prior to 2021, and 52% during 2021.
36. Ikahn purchased all of Safeguard’s coins from a precious metals wholesaler; determined the prices at which Safeguard sold the coins to investors; and knew or was reckless in not knowing that the markups greatly exceeded the operating margin listed in the “Precious Metals Shipping and Account Agreement” that he created, which appeared on Safeguard’s public website.
37. Safeguard’s sales personnel, following Safeguard’s sales scripts, told investors that the account statements they would receive from their SDIRA custodians would reflect the “melt value” of their coins rather than the actual value. When investors questioned Safeguard about the values of their coins listed on their account statements, which were substantially lower than what the investors paid Safeguard for the coins, Safeguard’s sales agents told them that the statements were inaccurate. The actual value of the coins, Safeguard’s sales agents assured the investors, was far higher.
38. Defendants did not disclose the actual markups on the coins to Safeguard’s investors.
39. Defendants also did not disclose to investors that they paid Safeguard’s sales agents commissions of 8% to 10%.
40. Safeguard and Ikahn Acted as Investment Advisers. When persuading investors to sell their securities in order to invest in coins, Safeguard and Ikahn acted as investment advisers.
41. As discussed above, Safeguard engaged in the business of providing investment advice. Its business model depended on sales personnel reaching out to investors on a daily basis to convince them to sell their securities. Safeguard held itself out as a full service investment firm, touted alleged relationships with securities industry professionals, and received compensation from investors in the form of markups on the coins that it sold. Safeguard’s sales agents, relying on the sales scripts and the on-the-job training they received from Ikahn or others at Safeguard, convinced investors to sell their existing securities holdings by providing advice about the purported risks associated with their securities holdings; current and future market trends, including the likelihood of another recession; and appropriate asset allocation.
42. Ikahn also acted as an investment adviser. Ikahn founded Safeguard, owned 100% of the company, and had total control over the company’s operations. Ikahn devised Safeguard’s business strategy of targeting elderly investors to convince them to sell their securities and invest the proceeds in coins. Initially, Ikahn personally handled all aspects of Safeguard’s business, including personally contacting investors. Later, Ikahn hired Safeguard’s sales agents, created Safeguard’s initial sales pitch, drafted certain sales scripts, and personally trained some of Safeguard’s sales agents. As Safeguard’s owner, Ikahn received compensation in the form of the mark ups Safeguard charged on the coins it sold to investors.
43. Safeguard also assisted investors with selling their existing securities. Once an investor agreed to invest with Safeguard, the Safeguard sales agent helped the investor to complete the SDIRA application; to contact their broker-dealer or other asset custodian in order to initiate the liquidation of their current securities holdings; and to transfer funds to an SDIRA. At times, Safeguard sales agents joined investors on these calls to their broker-dealers or other asset custodians. Safeguard’s investors transferred cash into their new SDIRAs rather than transferring any existing investments. Investors often sold mutual funds, annuities and other securities to raise the money to fund the SDIRA. In almost all cases, the full amount of funds that were moved into the SDIRA were used to purchase coins from Safeguard.
44. Defendants’ Gains. During the relevant period, Safeguard obtained approximately $67 million from the sale of gold and silver coins to more than 450 mostly elderly, retail investors. Safeguard kept approximately $25.5 million of the approximately $67 million paid by investors for itself in the form of markups on the price Safeguard paid for the coins.
Excerpt from “The 33 Strategies Of War” by Robert Greene
Chapter4
Create a sense of urgency and desperation – The Death-Ground Strategy
You are your own worst enemy. You waste precious time dreaming of the future instead of engaging in the present. Since nothing seems urgent to you, you are only half involved in what you do. The only way to change is through action and outside pressure. Put yourself in situations where you have too much at stake to waste time or resources—if you cannot afford to lose, you won’t. Cut your ties to the past; enter unknown territory where you must depend on your wits and energy to see you through. Place yourself on “death ground,” where your back is against the wall and you have to fight like hell to get out alive.
The No-Return Tactic
In 1504 an ambitious nineteen-year-old Spaniard named Hernán Cortés gave up his studies in law and sailed for his country’s colonies in the New World. Stopping first in Santo Domingo (the island today comprising Haiti and the Dominican Republic), then in Cuba, he soon heard about a land to the west called Mexico—an empire teeming with gold and dominated by the Aztecs, with their magnificent highland capital of Tenochtitlán. From then on, Cortés had just one thought: someday he would conquer and settle the land of Mexico.
Over the next ten years, Cortés slowly rose through the ranks, eventually becoming secretary to the Spanish governor of Cuba and then the king’s treasurer for the island. In his own mind, though, he was merely biding his time. He waited patiently while Spain sent other men to Mexico, many of them never to return.
Finally, in 1518, the governor of Cuba, Diego de Velázquez, made Cortés the leader of an expedition to discover what had happened to these earlier explorers, find gold, and lay the groundwork for the country’s conquest. Velázquez wanted to make that future conquest himself, however, so for this expedition he wanted a man he could control, and he soon developed doubts about Cortés—the man was clever, perhaps too much so. Word reached Cortés that the governor was having second thoughts about sending him to Mexico. Deciding to give Velázquez no time to nurse his misgivings, he managed to slip out of Cuba in the middle of the night with eleven ships. He would explain himself to the governor later.
The expedition landed on Mexico’s east coast in March 1519. Over the next few months, Cortés put his plans to work—founding the town of Veracruz, forging alliances with local tribes who hated the Aztecs, and making initial contact with the Aztec emperor, whose capital lay some 250 miles to the west. But one problem plagued the conquistador: among the 500 soldiers who had sailed with him from Cuba were a handful who had been placed there by Velázquez to act as spies and make trouble for him if he exceeded his authority. These Velázquez loyalists accused Cortés of mismanaging the gold that he was collecting, and when it became clear that he intended to conquer Mexico, they spread rumors that he was insane—an all-too-convincing accusation to make about a man planning to lead 500 men against half a million Aztecs, fierce warriors known to eat their prisoners’ flesh and wear the skins as trophies. A rational man would take the gold they had, return to Cuba, and come back later with an army. Why stay in this forbidding land, with its diseases and its lack of creature comforts, when they were so heavily outnumbered? Why not sail for Cuba, back home where their farms, their wives, and the good life awaited them?
Cortés did what he could with these troublemakers, bribing some, keeping a close eye on others. Meanwhile he worked to build a strong enough rapport with the rest of his men that the grumblers could do no harm. All seemed well until the night of July 30, when Cortés was awoken by a Spanish sailor who, begging for mercy, confessed that he had joined in a plot to steal a ship and return that very evening to Cuba, where the conspirators would tell Velázquez about Cortés’s goal of conquering Mexico on his own.
Cortés sensed that this was the decisive moment of the expedition. He could easily squash the conspiracy, but there would be others. His men were a rough lot, and their minds were on gold, Cuba, their families—anything but fighting the Aztecs. He could not conquer an empire with men so divided and untrustworthy, but how to fill them with the energy and focus for the immense task he faced? Thinking this through, he decided to take swift action. He seized the conspirators and had the two ringleaders hanged. Next, he bribed his pilots to bore holes in all of the ships and then announce that worms had eaten through the boards of the vessels, making them unseaworthy.
Pretending to be upset at the news, Cortés ordered what was salvageable from the ships to be taken ashore and then the hulls to be sunk. The pilots complied, but not enough holes had been bored, and only five of the ships went down. The story of the worms was plausible enough, and the soldiers accepted the news of the five ships with equanimity. But when a few days later more ships were run aground and only one was left afloat, it was clear to them that Cortés had arranged the whole thing. When he called a meeting, their mood was mutinous and murderous.
This was no time for subtlety. Cortés addressed his men: he was responsible for the disaster, he admitted; he had ordered it done, but now there was no turning back. They could hang him, but they were surrounded by hostile Indians and had no ships; divided and leaderless, they would perish. The only alternative was to follow him to Tenochtitlán. Only by conquering the Aztecs, by becoming lords of Mexico, could they get back to Cuba alive. To reach Tenochtitlán they would have to fight with utter intensity. They would have to be unified; any dissension would lead to defeat and a terrible death. The situation was desperate, but if the men fought desperately in turn, Cortés guaranteed that he would lead them to victory. Since the army was so small in number, the glory and riches would be all the greater. Any cowards not up to the challenge could sail the one remaining ship home.
No one accepted the offer, and the last ship was run aground. Over the next months, Cortés kept his army away from Veracruz and the coast. Their attention was focused on Tenochtitlán, the heart of the Aztec empire. The grumbling, the self-interest, and the greed all disappeared. Understanding the danger of their situation, the conquistadors fought ruthlessly. Some two years after the destruction of the Spanish ships, and with the help of their Indian allies, Cortés’s army laid siege to Tenochtitlán and conquered the Aztec empire.
Interpretation
On the night of the conspiracy, Cortés had to think fast. What was the root of the problem he faced? It was not Velázquez’s spies, or the hostile Aztecs, or the incredible odds against him. The root of the problem was his own men and the ships in the harbor. His soldiers were divided in heart and mind. They were thinking about the wrong things—their wives, their dreams of gold, their plans for the future. And in the backs of their minds there was always an escape route: if this conquest business went badly, they could go home. Those ships in the harbor were more than just transportation; they represented Cuba, the freedom to leave, the ability to send for reinforcements—so many possibilities.
For the soldiers the ships were a crutch, something to fall back on if things got ugly. Once Cortés had identified the problem, the solution was simple: destroy the ships. By putting his men in a desperate place, he would make them fight with utmost intensity.
A sense of urgency comes from a powerful connection to the present. Instead of dreaming of rescue or hoping for a better future, you have to face the issue at hand. Fail and you perish. People who involve themselves completely in the immediate problem are intimidating; because they are focusing so intensely, they seem more powerful than they are. Their sense of urgency multiplies their strength and gives them momentum. Instead of five hundred men, Cortés suddenly had the weight of a much larger army at his back.
Like Cortés you must locate the root of your problem. It is not the people around you; it is yourself, and the spirit with which you face the world. In the back of your mind, you keep an escape route, a crutch, something to turn to if things go bad. Maybe it is some wealthy relative you can count on to buy your way out; maybe it is some grand opportunity on the horizon, the endless vistas of time that seem to be before you; maybe it is a familiar job or a comfortable relationship that is always there if you fail. Just as Cortés’s men saw their ships as insurance, you may see this fallback as a blessing—but in fact it is a curse. It divides you. Because you think you have options, you never involve yourself deeply enough in one thing to do it thoroughly, and you never quite get what you want. Sometimes you need to run your ships aground, burn them, and leave yourself just one option: succeed or go down. Make the burning of your ships as real as possible—get rid of your safety net. Sometimes you have to become a little desperate to get anywhere.
You Can't Stop A Person With The Heart Of A Lion 