My Experience with Drugs & Alcohol

I can vividly remember the first time I got high. I was a teenager hanging out at my friend’s house. My friend was an avid pot smoker and had an intriguing strain of weed called “God’s Gift.” We were looking for a place to smoke, and since my Mom and Stepdad were gone for the weekend, we decided to go to my house. Once we got there, we climbed on the roof and started smoking some weed my friend had in a green container. We smoked out of a soda can since none of us had a pipe, and after I took my first hit, I began coughing like a maniac, unsure of what to expect in the coming moments.

After I stopped coughing, I slowly began to feel a change in my body. Everything slowed down and seemed ten times funnier. My friends and I then decided to walk to the restaurant Islands to get some food. We stopped quickly at a grocery store, where one of my friends asked if I had any money. I put my hands in my pockets and pulled out everything I had, which amounted to a few coins, and my friend yelled out, “We’re rich,” and we all started laughing hysterically, high out of our minds.

Once we left the market, we walked to the restaurant Islands and got seated by a waitress. When she asked if we wanted anything to drink, I ordered an Iced Tea. She clarified and asked if I wanted some sort of fruity flavor, which made me laugh because of how funny it sounded. Thankfully, I was able to compose myself and finish giving my order. We had a good time eating at the restaurant, and I spent the remainder of the night in a relaxed state.

I really enjoyed my first time smoking weed and getting high.

After my first smoke session, I started smoking weed on a regular basis. Especially once I switched to home school in the 10th grade. It was pretty easy for me to buy weed and hide it from my family… At least, at first. I hid my weed in a special compartment in the bathroom that went undetected for a long time. I would smoke during the day when no one was home, or I would go over to my friend’s house and get high. Once my family retired for the night around 9 or 10 PM, I would go outside and walk down the street, then smoke on the corner behind a giant RV trailer.

Eventually, I was introduced to alcohol and cigarettes one night at a friend’s house. I can’t recall what I drank, but I alternated between beer and hard liquor. I also had my first cigarette that night, which was a Marlboro Light. I really enjoyed puffing on tobacco as I drank throughout the evening. I threw up at the end of the night, but I still had a great time drinking.

After that incident, I started going out with my friends regularly to party. We usually got two 30-packs of beer and drank on the weekend. As I got older, I began drinking hard liquor, but I initially started off drinking beer and only had the harder stuff when it happened to be around. Most of the time, we could get an older friend to buy alcohol for us, but if not, we knew places that would sell to underage kids.

If, for some reason, we weren’t able to buy alcohol, we’d do what’s called a beer run. A beer run works like this: two people enter the market, one looks out and makes sure the coast is clear, and the other grabs the alcohol and bolts out of the store. On one particular night, it was my turn to be the guy who stole the alcohol, so one of my friends stayed in the getaway car while my other friend & I went into the store to steal some beer and get the party started.

Once we got into the store, my friend walked around the beer aisle to make sure there was no security. I went to the aisle where all the liquor was and waited for my friend to text me that it was safe to run out. When he texted me to go, I grabbed a 30-pack of beer and started bolting outside full speed. As soon as I took one step outside, though, I was immediately tackled by two huge guys who were secret shoppers (security guards dressed like civilians).

They put me in handcuffs and escorted me to a holding room in the back of the store. Everyone who was shopping gave the secret shoppers a round of applause for capturing me, which was pretty embarrassing. Once we got to the backroom, the cops asked me for my parent’s phone number. I gave the cop my aunt’s phone number, hoping she could pick me up and not tell my Dad about it. That was a fantasy, and when they called my aunt, she gave them my Dad’s phone number.

I had lied to my Dad about where I was going earlier, so I knew I was in big trouble.

The cops then contacted my father and asked him to pick me up. My Dad let them know he would head over right away.

As I patiently waited for my Dad to arrive, all sorts of fears came over me. How hard would he hit me once we got home, and how long would I be grounded? I could only imagine and knew I was in big trouble. There was no way I could explain to my Dad why I was caught running out of the store with a case of beer. I was caught red-handed doing something illegal and had come to terms with the consequences, whatever they might be.

Eventually, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs as my Dad entered the back room. As soon as he walked in, he looked at me with disgust. The officer explained to my Dad what had happened and wrote me a ticket for shoplifting. My handcuffs were taken off, but before I was released, the police realized they had forgotten to search me. They asked me to empty my pockets and began patting me down.

To my surprise, there was a pack of cigarettes in the jacket I was wearing. Ironically, it wasn’t even my coat or cigarettes – my friend let me borrow his jacket earlier in the day because it was raining, but that didn’t matter and made my situation worse. I had just been caught stealing alcohol, and now I had a pack of smokes on me. The officer immediately wrote me an additional ticket for being under 18 and possessing tobacco.

My Dad and I started walking to his truck when they finally released me. I knew he was probably going to yell at me or hit me once we got in. Thankfully, he just started yelling, and after what seemed like forever, he stopped, got out of his truck, and walked forward until he disappeared into the darkness of the night.

I got out of his truck and called my friends to pick me up since I didn’t want to go home and deal with my Dad’s wrath. As soon as they picked me up, we talked about the failed attempt and the disappointment of me getting caught, even though I was the only one who had to deal with the consequences.

We decided to make the most of the night and went out to party. Before we did that, though, we stopped at a nearby 7-Eleven to buy another pack of cigarettes (to replace the ones the police took). We then partied for the rest of the night. I stayed at my friend’s house for the weekend because I was too scared to go back home.

I decided I would go back to my house on Sunday.

The next day, I woke up and hung out with my friends. Later that night, we went to another party. This time, we were outside waiting for it to start, and some guys dressed in regular clothes walked up to us and said, “Undercover cop, get against the wall!” They began performing a search on me and found a pack of cigarettes, and I was given another ticket for underage tobacco possession. Thankfully, they didn’t call my Dad or arrest me, but I still got another ticket I’d eventually have to deal with.

I started getting into trouble when I began developing a social life and went out partying on the weekends. My family always told me I couldn’t go out, but I disobeyed them and went out anyway.

To fund my vices, I worked as an assistant janitor for my stepdad and as a data entry clerk for my aunt’s husband’s doctor’s office. Since I was young and didn’t have bills, I had a lot of money at my disposal during my teenage years. If there were ever a lull in work, and I needed more money. I would ask my family for cash. If they were generous enough to help me, I would take advantage of them.

For example, my aunt would give me her card to withdraw $20 at an ATM, and I would take out $40. I’d ask my Grandma, who received Social Security once a month, to let me borrow money that I knew I’d never pay back. There were also times I stole my Dad’s stuff and sold it for drug money. It feels terrible sitting here writing that, but those were the types of things I’d do to fund my lifestyle.

At some point, I was introduced to pills. The first one I recall taking was ecstasy. 

Ecstasy is a pill that comes in various colors & designs and makes you feel extremely happy. It puts your mind in a state of bliss and makes everything more enjoyable. Music sounds better, conversations seem deeper, and you appreciate everything around you. You do experience a hard crash the next day, but for those hours you’re high, there’s no comparable feeling. 

The first time I used ecstasy, I was hanging out with a friend who had a couple of yellow ecstasy pills with a Lamborghini on them. I took one and swallowed it, not sure what to expect. My friend and I randomly got into an argument about 30 minutes after I took it. While I was yelling at him, all of a sudden, I felt my anger disappear. I stopped arguing with my friend and felt a surge of joy enter my body. I apologized to my friend for getting mad and told him he meant a lot to me.

I could feel the ecstasy starting to kick in, and boy, did it feel good.

The friend I was hanging out with had to leave and go somewhere, so I called another friend who lived nearby, and he invited me to come over and hang out. He didn’t live far from where I was, so I walked over to his house. It was a sunny day, and I felt like a million bucks as I walked with the warm sun shining on my skin.

When I arrived at my friend’s house, I let everyone know I had taken ecstasy for the first time. They asked me how I felt, and I told them, “amazing.” They made sure I was nice and comfortable and were extra accommodating to me. They pulled out some weed to smoke, and we blazed outside for a bit. I asked my friends if they had cigarettes, and one of them slowly pulled out a pack of Marlboros 27s from his jeans, which were my favorite cigarettes at the time.

I had a huge grin on my face when my friend handed me the cigarette, and it felt so good to have a smoke while I was high off ecstasy & marijuana. As soon as I finished it, I requested another one and started chain-smoking.

After we hung out for a while, we decided to get in my friend’s car and drive around. As soon as we got in the car, the radio started playing, and ‘Toxicity’ by System Of A Down came on and took my high to a whole other level. My friends were hungry, so we drove through ‘Carl’s Jr,’ and one of my friends suggested I get an orange juice, which he said was the best drink to have when you’re on ecstasy. I took his advice and ordered an orange juice, which tasted like heaven going down my throat.

I was having the time of my life, and I spent the rest of the day chilling with my friends.

Following that day, I began using ecstasy more frequently, and at one point, I went on a binge, where I took ten pills in one day. It’s absolutely ridiculous, but I’ll explain what happened. One day, my friend came over and informed me that he had stolen a bottle of ecstasy pills from his brother, who was a drug dealer at the time. We decided to go to the mall and spent the whole day walking around popping pills. It was the Christmas season, so the mall had bright lights throughout the shopping center, and they played classic Christmas songs, like “The Nutcracker” over the loudspeakers.

Every hour or so throughout the day, we popped another pill to keep our high going. Whenever we started to feel dehydrated, we bought water from the food court. It felt like we were at a rave, and we had a blast just strolling around.

By the end of the day, we were drained from all the drug use and crashed at my house. The next day, we got up, and my friend left to go home. Shortly after, my family approached me with a small bag of Ecstasy and Xanax pills. I guess while my friend was sleeping, his drugs fell out of his pants, and my family discovered the drugs on our living room floor.

I told them the drugs weren’t mine, but it was a tough story to sell. They ended up giving it to my Mom, who took it to a police station, where they tested it and informed my Mom of the type of drugs they were. My family wasn’t happy with me, and it was a bad look. On top of that, I felt drained from all the ecstasy pills I had taken days prior at the mall.

I reached out to my sister and asked her to take me to the hospital because I felt like something was wrong with me. I asked her to keep it confidential, and she agreed she wouldn’t tell anyone. She then took me to the hospital, where the doctors examined me and said I’d be fine. They just told me to drink a lot of water and stay hydrated, then sent us on our way.

When my sister dropped me off at home, she immediately told my family what happened. I felt betrayed that she told my parents after I confided in her, but looking back now, I understand why she was worried. Unfortunately, it put a significant strain on our relationship at the time, and we didn’t speak for nearly a decade. We still don’t have the closest relationship, but I’m no longer mad at her, and we’ve been communicating more frequently than in the past.

Regardless of this incident, I continued with my drug use. I also became a full-time cigarette smoker. Before, I smoked cigarettes occasionally, but eventually, I got hooked and started buying my own packs. There was a Tobacco Shop near my house that one of my underage friends bought from, so I walked there hoping to buy cigarettes for myself without any problems.

The first time I went to the store, I walked up to the counter nonchalantly and confidently asked for a pack of cigarettes as if I were well over 18 and wouldn’t need to show any ID. I must have been in over my head cause the first thing the guy at the counter said was, “ID, please.” I couldn’t provide it, so I walked home empty-handed and disappointed.

A week or so later, I was craving cigarettes, so I marched back to the store, hoping to get a different result. The same guy was there from the first time. I asked for cigarettes, and once again, I was denied. I mentioned that one of my friends bought cigarettes there, and I wanted a pack for myself. The guy looked at me carefully and thought to himself for a second. He then told me to go across the street to Taco Bell and get him some food, and once I came back, he would sell me a pack of cigarettes. 

I was happy to oblige and pick him up some tacos, and right then, I made a connection with someone who would sell me tobacco products.

My favorite cigarettes were Marlboro 27s & Reds. I also smoked Wine Black and Milds. When I look back at everything I’ve used, from drugs to liquor, I have to say I enjoyed cigarettes more than anything. Having 20 tobacco sticks to enjoy throughout the day or a long wine, black and mild, to puff on always relaxed me, and I loved smoking tobacco even though I knew it was terrible for me.

One of the main differences between drugs and tobacco is that it’s much easier to hide a drug habit than a cigarette habit. When I was high on drugs, I could just sit quietly in the car with my headphones on and tell my family I wasn’t feeling good and avoid blowing my cover. When you smoke cigarettes, though, you can’t hide it because it leaves you with a strong smell that’s hard to get rid of.

I remember one time my Mom picked me up to take me to court for a ticket I had. Before she got to my house, I went outside for a quick smoke. When she arrived, I got in her car, and she immediately called me out because I smelled like cigarettes. I denied smoking, but obviously, I was, and I smelled like I just walked off a tobacco farm.

At this point in my life, I was regularly drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes & weed, and experimenting with harder drugs.

One night, my friends and I were outside my house around midnight after partying. While hanging out, I saw one of my friends pull out a pouch filled with white powder. My friend then started rolling up a dollar bill and began preparing a line of Cocaine to snort. I was both drunk and high and asked my friend to let me try some when he was done.

I felt nervous when it was my turn to do a line, but I moved forward with it, curious to try the infamous drug. After snorting the Coke I didn’t feel anything, but I was told to wait patiently until it kicked in. About ten minutes later, I felt a powerful high come over my body that felt sensational. I lit a cigarette and started taking drags from it, blowing smoke into the air of the night. It was a very pleasant feeling, and I enjoyed every second of it. It definitely lived up to the hype.

Cocaine is a highly addictive drug. It feels so good that you want more of it as soon as your highs over. It’s one of those drugs that causes people to act desperately to get their hands on it.

I remember one night, I went across the street to my neighbor’s house, and when I got back to my house, I couldn’t find the Cocaine I had in my pocket before leaving. I went back outside, certain I dropped it, and probably spent an hour on my hands and knees, using my phone as a flashlight, trying to locate the small bag of Cocaine I had.

I never ended up finding it, but when I think about this incident, I can’t believe how ridiculous I must have looked in the wee hours of the night trying to locate some cocaine on the ground. When you’re a drug user, sometimes you can’t see how crazy you’re acting.

Around the same time I started using Cocaine, my friends and I also started using promethazine. Most people just mix their syrup with soda, but my friends and I were such fiends that we poured it on everything. We dripped it over our cigarettes before we lit them, we poured it on our blunts & bowls of marijuana, and we took turns taking chugs straight from the bottle. It was never the primary drug we used, but we enjoyed it whenever we got our hands on a hard-to-find bottle.

After I spent some time experimenting with other drugs, I realized smoking weed no longer satisfied me. The high it gave me wasn’t strong enough anymore. I started to lose respect for weed and preferred to use harder drugs when I went out.

As underground rapper, Necro said in his song, ‘I Need Drugs.’

“As a young teen, I started with marijuana

Then graduated to Coke cuz I needed something stronger.”

Out of all the drugs I used, though, the worst one has to be a little white pill called ‘Xanax.’ It’s a prescription drug that’s typically given to people who have anxiety problems. It puts you in a really relaxed state and makes you lose control of yourself. When you take too many or mix it with alcohol, it can cause you to black out and not remember what happened the night before.

I started taking Xanax when I transitioned from home school back to regular school. One of my friends started selling Xanax, so I would meet up with him before school and buy two bars, which was the perfect dose if you wanted to stay high all day.

One time, I was high off Xanax with my friends, and we went to a 7-Eleven to buy some cigarettes and alcohol. When we walked in, my friend told me I jumped on the counter and asked the clerk if he enjoyed his job, and other random questions. The clerk must have been like, “What the hell’s wrong with this guy?” When you take these pills, though, you can’t control yourself because you’re way too loose, confident, and high.

I started getting comfortable using drugs at school and would even snort Cocaine in the bathroom stalls between my classes. I would sit on the toilet, take out my folder, do a line or two, and leave. I never got caught, but an adult approached me once and asked why my eyes were so big. I got nervous, and my heart sank. He walked into a nearby office, and I quickly left the area.

The same adult saw me another time and walked up to me again to scan my eyes, but this time, I wasn’t high, and my eyes looked normal, so he couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back, these were warning signs that my drug use was apparent not only to my family but to people outside my household.

Eventually, I reached a point where I was high every day and lost sense of time. I had no idea what day or month it was because I was in a non-stop cycle of using drugs and partying. I completely stopped listening to my family and developed a careless lifestyle where I was only concerned with going out and getting high.

One day, I got home after a night of partying, and my Dad told me to pack my bags and get ready to go to my Mom’s house. He said my behavior was out of control, and I couldn’t stay with him anymore. Once he dropped me off at my Mom’s, I knocked on her door, and she opened it & called my Dad, and told him I couldn’t live with her and to come pick me back up – Right away.

I had turned into such a troubled teen that nobody wanted to deal with me anymore.

There were times I wanted to quit using drugs and get my life on track, but I was never able to stop using for more than a week or two. My friends and I always proclaimed we’d quit, but we all knew it would only last for so long. When you’re going out and partying in environments that contain drugs and liquor, it’s hard to abstain from them, especially when everyone else is indulging in them and having a good time.

Eventually, I got into so much trouble that I knew I had to sober up. I made the decision to immediately quit everything cold turkey. It was challenging, but I knew it was time to finally address my problem. I had let everyone around me down, and it was time to get clean.

Since my body was used to regularly consuming drugs and alcohol, my body reacted poorly to me quitting. I felt terrible throughout the day and had trouble falling asleep at night. When I finally fell asleep, I had strange dreams. Sometimes, I’d lie down and feel like I couldn’t breathe. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It also felt like I was having seizures because my arm would randomly shake from side to side.

One thing that helped alleviate my pain was hot showers. Having hot water poured all over my skin was surprisingly relieving. There were times I took three or four showers a day. My family would ask why I was taking so many showers, and it probably looked weird, but it made a man who felt insane feel sane, temporarily.

I was able to stay clean for a whole year, but like most addicts, I relapsed. My family had left town for the weekend, and I had some old friends come over. Sadly, within about 48 hours, I relapsed on cigarettes, alcohol, Cocaine, and weed. I re-entered the same type of environment I was in before, and due to my lack of self-control, I indulged in the same substances I swore I was done with.

After this incident, I didn’t use Cocaine again, but I ended up drinking and smoking off and on for a while.

One of the most embarrassing moments in my life came when my cousin and I went to a local Marijuana dispensary to pick up our daily supply of weed. I felt embarrassed walking in because I was wearing the same clothes I had on during my last visit. I also hadn’t showered in days and wasn’t taking care of myself. I felt like a complete and total bum.

When we got to the dispensary, I heard a noise coming from the ground. I looked down, and my shoelaces were untied, flapping against the ground. Here I was, a grown man who hadn’t showered or shaved in days, wearing the same outfit as the last time I came in, and not just one but both of my shoelaces were untied.

At that moment, I realized I was a huge mess.

I decided to cut down on my drinking, so I took a break for a few months. One night, though, I went over to a neighbor’s house and got offered some liquor. I thought to myself, since I hadn’t had a drink in a few months, I’d probably be able to control myself, and I convinced myself it’d be okay to have a drink.

I started drinking again, and for the first couple of times, I was able to drink until I was buzzed and then stopped like a responsible person. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long, and I went back to my old ways of drinking until I blacked out. I took another extended break and tried drinking again & the same thing happened. I controlled myself initially, but then went back to overdrinking.

At that point, it was clear I was an alcoholic.

When I turned 21, my family wanted to take me out to have drinks, but right before my birthday, I decided to quit drinking forever. Ironically, I quit drinking before I was legally able to start, but that’s how it worked out for me.

My last night of drug use also came when I was 20 years old. I was hanging out with a friend when he suddenly passed me a glass pipe. It didn’t look like the usual pipe I smoked weed out of, and looked strange. I figured there must have been cannabis oil in it and took a hit, and after a few moments, I felt the most powerful high come over my body. I asked my friend, “Yo, what kind of weed is this! I ain’t never been this high before”, and he replied, “Naw, this ain’t weed, bro. It’s Crystal Meth.”

I thought briefly to myself how I’d been clean from hard drugs for years, and now I relapsed on a drug that was far worse than anything I was using before. I felt terrible for a moment, but succumbed to smoking meth with my friend all night. I have to say, out of every drug I’ve used, Crystal Meth gave me the greatest high.

I left my friend’s house around 5:30 AM and started walking home. As I approached the front of my house, my uncle was in the kitchen making breakfast. He opened the door, looked at me, and said, “You’re on drugs,” in disgust. I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were so dilated that it looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. I went to lie down in bed and felt so disappointed in myself.

I may have used drugs a few times after this incident, but sometime before I turned 21, I decided to permanently quit taking drugs and haven’t relapsed since. I’m 30 years old now, so I’ve been clean for about a decade from drugs & alcohol. I’m fully aware now that I have an addictive personality and can’t afford to consume any of these substances again.

Quitting drugs has been easy for me, but quitting drinking has been a challenge because it’s such a big part of our society. Everywhere you go, it seems like people drink, and not everyone is understanding of your decision to be sober. Most people respect me when I mention I don’t drink, but if they press me on it, I just tell them I’m an alcoholic. That shuts everyone up instantly. It would be like a guy asking a girl on a date, and she tells him that she’s a lesbian.

There’s not much you can say after that.

I don’t party as much these days and prefer not to be at places where there’s drugs & alcohol. Not because I can’t control myself, but because it doesn’t make sense to put myself around things that previously helped destroy me. A thief shouldn’t hang out at a bank, a person with a porn addiction shouldn’t be on Pornhub, and an alcoholic shouldn’t be at a bar. It just doesn’t make sense to put yourself in environments that might trigger a relapse.

It’s also not fun for me. I can’t enjoy myself when I’m the only one sober and everyone else is drunk or high. Some people can party like that, but I’m not one of them. Nowadays, I just like to stay at home and relax. I turn up by lying in bed in my underwear and reading a good book. If I really want to get “lit,” I’ll light a candle or two and get the party cracking.

It might not sound like the most exciting way to spend Saturday night, but it works for me.

When I look back at my drug and alcohol use, I can see it caused me nothing but problems. Not only did I spend thousands of dollars on tickets and drug & alcohol purchases, but I also hurt my family and made a fool of myself many times. To fund my addiction, I would stop at nothing, and I eventually turned into a compulsive liar who would do or say anything to get drugs.

These substances turn you into the worst version of yourself. I remember a Biggie Smalls lyric where he said

“All my life I been considered as the worst, Lyin’ to my mother, even stealin’ out her purse.”

It reminds me of all the times I lied to my Grandma to get money for drugs and alcohol.

Drugs are dangerous because they put you in an altered state you can’t reach on your own. Most people know drugs are bad, but still use them so they can temporarily escape the hardships of life. I know I loved getting high, but hated when I came back to reality and my problems were still there with their arms crossed, waiting for me.

One thing that helped me during my recovery was going to the gym and exercising. It wasn’t easy at first, though. After all those years of smoking, I couldn’t even run for a few minutes without running out of breath. I’m in great shape now, but it took a while before I could run for a meaningful amount of time.

Another thing I loved doing at the gym was lifting weights. Pushing & Pulling heavy weights always purged the negative emotions out of me. It also helped me put on muscle, which boosted my self-confidence. I also started getting more attention from Women, too 🙂

Nowadays, I do my best to tell people who have drug and alcohol problems to get clean. Nothing good ever comes from drug and alcohol use. Anytime you hear something about them, it’s usually regarding an arrest, overdose, or someone getting killed by a drunk driver.

This generation is also facing an epidemic of people dying from pills laced with Fentanyl. Just know buying pills these days is like playing Russian roulette. You have no idea where the pill came from or what could be in it. Your drug dealer also doesn’t know what’s in it, and you should never trust anyone handing you a pill. Even if someone promises you it’s safe to take, don’t believe them.

Stay far away from pills.

Now that I’ve been clean for years, I can tell you with confidence it’s better to live a sober life – To start,

1. You’re always in control of your actions.
2. You have more money since you’re not buying a product that disappears after one use and has to be repurchased.
3. You’re not hurting your body and destroying your brain cells.

One thing I will say, though, is once you get clean, life will not get easier. Whenever you feel down, you’re not going to have drugs or liquor to comfort you and make you feel better. It’s important you replace drinking & drug use with new hobbies so you don’t relapse and fall into a depression. Personally, I go to the gym and work out, read, make music, or find some other activity to direct my energy into.

In the end, I’m grateful for my experience, and more than anything, happy I was able to change my life and get clean. I just hope people with a problem recognize it and stop before it’s too late. What usually happens is someone will start using drugs and progressively get worse until they run into a bad situation that forces them to get clean. That situation usually causes them a lot of trouble and can take years to recover from, so I recommend doing it on your terms and not the universe’s.

Every now and then, I have the temptation to drink, but I quickly remind myself of all the hardships it’s caused me. Also, after being sober for years, it would be ridiculous to start using again (especially because of how hard I struggled to get clean). If I did start using again, I know I might be able to control myself initially, but inevitably, I’ll revert to the addict in me and spiral out of control.

I challenge everyone to ask themselves if they have a problem with substance abuse. If you’re someone who can drink and control yourself, then, by all means, drink up and have a good time. Consider yourself lucky that your DNA allows you to control yourself and drink responsibly. For everyone else, ask yourself if you’re being responsible with your consumption.

If you can’t go out and have fun without drinking or using drugs, you probably have a problem. If you need to have a drink when you get off work to relax, you probably have a problem. If everyone has stopped drinking and you’re the only one pouring another drink in your cup… You probably have a problem.

Do you have a problem?

That’s a question only you can answer.

Just make sure when you answer it, you’re being honest.